Prov. If you have to give up fighting some group because you can't win, band together with them. (The version with lick is informal.) Jill: I just got a kitten. Jane: I can't believe it! You used to hatepeople who owned cats. Jill: If you can't beat them, join them.Alan: I hear you're a Republican now. Fred: Yeah, I figured, if you can't lick 'em, join 'em.